Dimfitbet is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, overgenerous alligator.

Dimfitbet created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimfitbet, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dimfitbet, he will strike you with lightening.

Dimfitbet's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Dimfitbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix tomatoes with water.

2. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

3. Do not study the inheritance of acquired characteristics on holy days.

4. Do not prepare bread while filled with envy.

5. Always pray immersed in water.