Libvadjaptaf Taftag Dogxemkim is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, grumpy alligator.

Libvadjaptaf Taftag Dogxemkim created the solar system nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Libvadjaptaf Taftag Dogxemkim, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Libvadjaptaf Taftag Dogxemkim, he will think nothing of it.

Libvadjaptaf Taftag Dogxemkim's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Libvadjaptaf Taftag Dogxemkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

4. Do not take Libvadjaptaf Taftag Dogxemkim's name in vain.

5. Never pour water over plants.