Parkdogjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, irritating mole.

Parkdogjarn created snails twelve years ago.

If you believe in Parkdogjarn, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Parkdogjarn, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Parkdogjarn's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Parkdogjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Parkdogjarn in the centre of the settlement.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Erect four copper sculptures of Parkdogjarn on top of important buildings.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.