Ontcussrot Dibbafman is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, wise porpoise.

Ontcussrot Dibbafman created humanity nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontcussrot Dibbafman, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ontcussrot Dibbafman, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ontcussrot Dibbafman's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Ontcussrot Dibbafman's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Never leap in winter.

3. Never stain your arms with indigo.

4. Never adorn your feet with gray markings.

5. Do not wear fawn clothing.