Fidfagvig is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, fussy dog.

Fidfagvig created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fidfagvig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fidfagvig, he will throw large rocks at you.

Fidfagvig's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Fidfagvig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always help tapirs.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Fidfagvig on top of all buildings.

5. Do not commit murder.