Cebvolfemcet is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, merciless mongoose.

Cebvolfemcet created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Cebvolfemcet, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cebvolfemcet, he will think nothing of it.

Cebvolfemcet's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cebvolfemcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

3. Do not hurt squirrels.

4. You must never eat limes.

5. Pray towards the east.