Jamgepfas is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, resourceful rhinoceros.

Jamgepfas created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Jamgepfas, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Jamgepfas, she will turn you into a hamster.

Jamgepfas' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Jamgepfas' Holy Commandments

1. Jamgepfas must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not hurt otters.

3. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

4. Do not drink water in green rooms.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.