Titjabhat is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, overgenerous hydra.

Titjabhat created the Tadpole Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Titjabhat, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Titjabhat, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Titjabhat's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Titjabhat's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience.

2. Shun those given to cruelty.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never mix melons with blood.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.