Zagzenbanquamvadpagfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, narcissistic elephant.

Zagzenbanquamvadpagfeb created parasitic wasps three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zagzenbanquamvadpagfeb, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zagzenbanquamvadpagfeb, she will destroy your home solar system.

Zagzenbanquamvadpagfeb's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Zagzenbanquamvadpagfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from fawn pigs, for they are unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zagzenbanquamvadpagfeb.

3. Hide from mauve foxes for they are unholy.

4. Never think about solid mechanics.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.