Misjennurljapjamwap is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, selfish tapir.

Misjennurljapjamwap created the Black Eye Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Misjennurljapjamwap, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Misjennurljapjamwap, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Misjennurljapjamwap's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Misjennurljapjamwap's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Shun those given to vanity.

3. You must never eat bread.

4. Never discuss eukaryotes in public assemblies.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.