Matwatpod is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, egotistical crane.

Matwatpod created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matwatpod, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Matwatpod, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Matwatpod's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Matwatpod's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never chant in winter.

3. Always count to eight before sleeping.

4. Never record secrets.

5. Never remain standing at dusk.