Xenteenhit is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witless seal.

Xenteenhit created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenteenhit, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xenteenhit, he will jump up and down on your head.

Xenteenhit's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Xenteenhit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Xenteenhit must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics.

4. Always help dogs.

5. Never paint your legs violet.