Somhunlist is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, compassionate finch.

Somhunlist created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Somhunlist, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Somhunlist, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Somhunlist's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Somhunlist's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of elders.

2. You must love Somhunlist.

3. Always help turtles in need.

4. Do not name children after bats.

5. Do not speak about garlic.