Paktabfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, narcissistic donkey.

Paktabfeb created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Paktabfeb, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Paktabfeb, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Paktabfeb's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Paktabfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Heed all signs.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always wear plain shirts during rituals.

5. Do not hop at rivers.