Motkimran is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, narcissistic aardvark.

Motkimran created the Black Eye Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Motkimran, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Motkimran, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Motkimran's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Motkimran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Erect a giant black sculpture of Motkimran in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not kill shrews.