Stipappfarnell is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, all-powerful shark.

Stipappfarnell created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipappfarnell, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Stipappfarnell, she will laugh at you.

Stipappfarnell's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Stipappfarnell's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never bounce in the presence of elders.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Stipappfarnell.

5. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.