Zanjipyik is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, ruthless otter.

Zanjipyik created the planet Earth four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zanjipyik, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zanjipyik, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Zanjipyik's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Zanjipyik's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Always help seals in need.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Zanjipyik loves rats, so they must be respected.