Bosshabpop is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-powerful dryad.

Bosshabpop created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bosshabpop, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bosshabpop, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Bosshabpop's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Bosshabpop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Run away from white birds, for they are unholy.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.