Cemcissbit is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unsympathetic bird.

Cemcissbit created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemcissbit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cemcissbit, he will turn you into a mouse.

Cemcissbit's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Cemcissbit's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.