Stanbudcem is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, tranquil eagle.

Stanbudcem created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanbudcem, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Stanbudcem, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Stanbudcem's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Stanbudcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always share bananas with strangers, but never with eagles.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Do not consume strawberries at dawn.

4. Hide if seven tortoises approach from the east.

5. Do not wear trousers marked with green.