Haslopbum is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthoughtful eagle.

Haslopbum created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Haslopbum, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Haslopbum, she will be very sad.

Haslopbum's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Haslopbum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Haslopbum.

3. Never paint your neck yellow.

4. Always obey Haslopbum's priests.

5. Never mention mice.