Ripnutnarlipsigponbigtif is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, conceited cobra.

Ripnutnarlipsigponbigtif created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ripnutnarlipsigponbigtif, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ripnutnarlipsigponbigtif, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Ripnutnarlipsigponbigtif's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Ripnutnarlipsigponbigtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Do not hurt snails.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. You must love Ripnutnarlipsigponbigtif.

5. Ripnutnarlipsigponbigtif loves doves, so they must be respected.