Gabwigsom is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, tiresome eagle.

Gabwigsom created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabwigsom, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gabwigsom, she will not invite you to parties.

Gabwigsom's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Gabwigsom's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Do not contemplate quantum field theory during the night.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never hurt tapirs.

5. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.