Zimvonktit Sandhudbam is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, conceited wren.

Zimvonktit Sandhudbam created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Zimvonktit Sandhudbam, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Zimvonktit Sandhudbam, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Zimvonktit Sandhudbam's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Zimvonktit Sandhudbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Run away if nine squirrels approach from the west.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.