Hotgumvil is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, calm armadillo.

Hotgumvil created the Tadpole Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Hotgumvil, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hotgumvil, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hotgumvil's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Hotgumvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Do not name children after frogs.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Never record numbers.