Armzaktom is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, flying mink.

Armzaktom created matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Armzaktom, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Armzaktom, he will turn you into a hamster.

Armzaktom's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Armzaktom's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not commit murder.