Tofgepkem is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, flying dog.

Tofgepkem created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofgepkem, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tofgepkem, he will think nothing of it.

Tofgepkem's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Tofgepkem's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tofgepkem four times a day.

2. Always treat seals with great respect.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Run away if eight capybaras approach from the south.