Narlfetjap is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, all-powerful grasshopper.

Narlfetjap created viruses twelve years ago.

If you believe in Narlfetjap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Narlfetjap, it will turn you into a puffin.

Narlfetjap's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Narlfetjap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine dolphins approach from the north.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Do not take Narlfetjap's name in vain.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.