Zebkimvanlik is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, proud bear.

Zebkimvanlik created the Whirlpool Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zebkimvanlik, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zebkimvanlik, he will turn you into a frog.

Zebkimvanlik's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Zebkimvanlik's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue porpoises, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.