Bagjatnig Podvinbit Kopbepgov is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unfair mongoose.

Bagjatnig Podvinbit Kopbepgov created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagjatnig Podvinbit Kopbepgov, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bagjatnig Podvinbit Kopbepgov, it will turn you into a worm.

Bagjatnig Podvinbit Kopbepgov's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bagjatnig Podvinbit Kopbepgov's Holy Commandments

1. Always help goats in need.

2. Never paint your face gray.

3. Put Bagjatnig Podvinbit Kopbepgov first in all things.

4. Run away from pink eagles, for they are unholy.

5. Always wear yellow.