Hontipflab is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, weak bat.

Hontipflab created the Milkyway eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hontipflab, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hontipflab, she will turn you into a duck.

Hontipflab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Hontipflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain bowed at dawn.

2. Heed all portents.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near seals while wearing violet dresses and balancing six silicon spheres on your head.

4. Always maintain humility during holy days.

5. Never mention monkeys.