Tadbonkbad is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, contented crow.

Tadbonkbad created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tadbonkbad, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tadbonkbad, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tadbonkbad's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Tadbonkbad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never paint your back yellow.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.