Zodquatvin is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, strong hippopotamus.

Zodquatvin created dark matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodquatvin, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zodquatvin, it will be very sad.

Zodquatvin's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Zodquatvin's Holy Commandments

1. Zodquatvin loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

2. Never hop in the presence of swans.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never hurt seals.

5. You must pray to Zodquatvin five times a day.