Dabsanpib is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, kind hare.

Dabsanpib created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabsanpib, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dabsanpib, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dabsanpib's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Dabsanpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.