Gatlapdud is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, flying newt.

Gatlapdud created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatlapdud, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gatlapdud, he will try to impress you with trees.

Gatlapdud's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Gatlapdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Never talk about aardvarks.

5. Never think ill of sick tapirs.