Hambastfubdog is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, humorless zebra.

Hambastfubdog created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hambastfubdog, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hambastfubdog, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Hambastfubdog's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Hambastfubdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not hurt otters.

4. Erect a large iron sculpture of Hambastfubdog on top of all buildings.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.