Labtag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, caring gnu.

Labtag created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labtag, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Labtag, it will boil you in a big pot.

Labtag's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Labtag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Labtag loves dolphins, so they must be respected.