Matvolvan is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, strong dugong.

Matvolvan created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Matvolvan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Matvolvan, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Matvolvan's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Matvolvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never wear mauve shirts.

3. Do not place limes upon stone.

4. Always look after injured sheep.

5. Never gather three dogs near doors.