Cunfabhak is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, passionate tapir.

Cunfabhak created the Andromeda Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cunfabhak, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cunfabhak, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cunfabhak's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Cunfabhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

2. Never speak at midday.

3. Never approach crossroads carrying stone.

4. Never speak of order in the presence of children.

5. Cunfabhak loves geese, so they must be respected.