Gofzogstrag is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, ruthless deer.

Gofzogstrag created the planet Mars four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofzogstrag, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gofzogstrag, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gofzogstrag's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gofzogstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. You must love Gofzogstrag.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Do not eat bread.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.