Getkikhab is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, humorless lion.

Getkikhab created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Getkikhab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Getkikhab, she will torture you forever.

Getkikhab's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Getkikhab's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Getkikhab.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.