Tinvabbast Larnvabbushivsakart is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, humorless faun.

Tinvabbast Larnvabbushivsakart created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tinvabbast Larnvabbushivsakart, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tinvabbast Larnvabbushivsakart, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tinvabbast Larnvabbushivsakart's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Tinvabbast Larnvabbushivsakart's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven aluminium sculptures of Tinvabbast Larnvabbushivsakart on top of important buildings.

2. Do not keep five monkeys in a large pit.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.