Bethathad is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, almighty wolf.

Bethathad created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Bethathad, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bethathad, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bethathad's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bethathad's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry snakes.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

5. Always count to five before sleeping.