Padkompib Mabvonkab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, merciful lizard.

Padkompib Mabvonkab created the planet Saturn eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padkompib Mabvonkab, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Padkompib Mabvonkab, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Padkompib Mabvonkab's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Padkompib Mabvonkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Hide from purple rats for they are unholy.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Run away if six great tits approach from the east.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.