Kadmobtam Tenrakfem is a god.

It takes the form of a large, unfair shrew.

Kadmobtam Tenrakfem created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kadmobtam Tenrakfem, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Kadmobtam Tenrakfem, it will send minions to preach to you.

Kadmobtam Tenrakfem's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Kadmobtam Tenrakfem's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Worship no other gods but Kadmobtam Tenrakfem.

3. Always share rice with strangers, but never with great tits.

4. Retreat if nine bats approach from the north.

5. Never pour water over plants.