Bugvedtinbonkpanggonrip Bogmadhit Yimgigmid is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unjust dolphin.

Bugvedtinbonkpanggonrip Bogmadhit Yimgigmid created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bugvedtinbonkpanggonrip Bogmadhit Yimgigmid, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bugvedtinbonkpanggonrip Bogmadhit Yimgigmid, he will destroy your favourite star.

Bugvedtinbonkpanggonrip Bogmadhit Yimgigmid's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bugvedtinbonkpanggonrip Bogmadhit Yimgigmid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.