Kemkarlid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, emotional grasshopper.

Kemkarlid created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemkarlid, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kemkarlid, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kemkarlid's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Kemkarlid's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix rice with water.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Never eat peas on holy days.

5. Always wash your feet before prayer.