Batpadvad is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, compassionate capybara.

Batpadvad created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Batpadvad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Batpadvad, she will have a low opinion of you.

Batpadvad's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Batpadvad's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Batpadvad.

2. Always help sick nematodes.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics.