Himjengam is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, pitiless human.

Himjengam created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Himjengam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Himjengam, she will be very sad.

Himjengam's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Himjengam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near voles while wearing magenta shorts and balancing three nickel spheres on your neck.

3. Never wear red hats.

4. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never discuss archaea in public assemblies.