Jabteenlim is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unjust beaver.

Jabteenlim created the planet Earth six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabteenlim, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jabteenlim, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jabteenlim's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Jabteenlim's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach mountains carrying bone.

2. Never cross forests at midday.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never feed aubergines to tortoises while wearing hats.