Targmabmab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unfair cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Targmabmab created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targmabmab, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Targmabmab, it will refuse to believe in you.

Targmabmab's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Targmabmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never eat lentils.

5. Always take life seriously.