Hatnurcen is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, deceitful tortoise.

Hatnurcen created a top quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatnurcen, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hatnurcen, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Hatnurcen's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Hatnurcen's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hatnurcen first in all things.

2. Never eat peas.

3. Do not keep five aardvarks in a large pit.

4. Worship no other gods but Hatnurcen.

5. Always obey Hatnurcen's priests.