Abfondantip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, astonishing ferret.

Abfondantip created the planet Earth two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Abfondantip, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Abfondantip, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Abfondantip's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Abfondantip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Do not speak about turnips.

3. Always help pigs in need.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never hop in the presence of eagles.