Abkimlop is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, happy gorilla.

Abkimlop created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Abkimlop, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Abkimlop, she will turn you into a sheep.

Abkimlop's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Abkimlop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record numbers concerning nebulae.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.